Time is cruel.

It' 10:43 pm and sadly, most of my studious friends are now asleep. Many of them will rise early in the morning to study, study, study. I will wake up in the middle of the night to eat before fasting and pray and then, yup, you guessed it, go right back to sleep.
I won't kid myself - I'm having time problems. Maybe it's because I'm fasting and I feel tired most of the time. But I come home from school, kill time until I break my fast and then watch television for another hour. Then I sit down to do work, but my gosh, getting myself to do work is a feat in itself. A lot of people think that I'm very smart, that I study a lot, but that's really not true. I'm not smart and when I do study, it's just a huge mess of nothingness that I forget the next morning. So... yeah, it doesn't help at all.

I hate time constraints. I hate deadlines hanging over my neck like a guillotine or something. I hate knowing that in a few weeks from now, I will be sitting my trials and YES I KNOW THEY DO NOT COUNT FOR ANYTHING, but that doesn't stop me from wanting to do well. But the problem is that I cannot manage my time properly, and I have so many topics to cover before than that just the thought of it makes me want to go hide under my bed. I have not had time to do anything I love - I have not touched my guitar or keyboard in weeks, I have not had the time to reply to my friends' letters, I have not had the time to sit down and write to my heart's content. All because of my stupid time management problems. Like I said to my friend today, my life revolves around eating, sleeping and doing work (when I manage to actually do it) but I want it to be so much more.

Please, tell me that someone out there feels the way I do. And please, someone tell me how to manage my time better :(

- thelazydreamer.