Perhaps writing is more important than I thought.

Over the past couple of weeks, I have been stressing myself so much that I've even surprised myself. Yes, I do stress out a bit more than normal people, but not usually this much! I'm slowly starting to figure out what the root of all my problems are. 

Primary school was not really such a great time for me - I was constantly stuck under a cloud of worry and self doubt. Then suddenly when I reached high school, everything seemed to change. The moments when I did not have a smile on my face were becoming increasingly rare. Everyone around me, including me, seemed to notice it. I have always been trying to figure out what it is that changed me so rapidly. Now I realise that around the time when I became more happy with myself and the world around me was the time I began taking writing seriously. I had been writing since the age of eight, but I started really considering writing as something I was extremely passionate about around the time I started high school. Not only that, my marks actually became much better than what they had been. Perhaps writing is what changed it all for me. 

How does this relate to my stressed out state of mind at the moment? The thing is, all this studying and stressing out about studying (not to mention procrastinating) leaves little time for writing. I haven't been writing at all. I'm guessing that because I haven't been writing, I've been stressed out more than usual. 

Before I stop rambling and actually go write, I am going to attempt to somehow tie this post to you, oh awesome reader. Before I leave, I shall leave you with some extremely important advice: do you what you love, even when you think you should do nothing but study! Seriously, take it from someone who's been stupid enough not to realise it before - your hobbies and passions really do make you a healthier person. 

- thelazydreamer.

My dear friends :)

 My friends have so much confidence in me. Even when I am at my lowest and am doubting myself , they're always trying to cheer me up. They have this lovely mind set that I am very smart and will be able to fulfill whatever dreams I have. An example of this is writing. Most people I know are now aware that my greatest dream is to become a published author. Even though the chances of my becoming an author are extremely tiny, they believe that one day I'll be a hugely famous writer. They are already arguing about who gets the dedication of my first book. Today Rekha said, "You can become an author and then go on Sunrise." I found that pretty random, but still, it shows that she believes that one day I'll make it.

They are always telling me that I am a very good writer, even when I don't believe it myself. They're the kind of friends I need around me right now :)
Well, a very mushy sort of post, but it has a lot of truth in it.

I shall leave you with a random picture...

- thelazydreamer.

Oh my.

Well, this blog is awfully dead, is it not? And yes, I am aware I sound like a British person.
So the day before yesterday (Saturday) I finally gave in my submission for the SMH Young Writer of the Year competition. I have to say, that's probably the most effort I've ever put into a short story. I wrote about four drafts, got it checked by three teachers, and made my friends read it as well. Um, if you haven't realise, I'm a person who worries a lot. After checking and rechecking my entry a few billion times, I finally clicked 'Submit'. And that's all. I've been trying to convince myself that's what's done is done but here's a confession - I have this pathetic fear of not being 'great'. I just want my writing to be recognised somehow. But today I came to terms with the fact that there are thousands of other people around NSW who probably entered, and there will only be one winner out of all of them. The rest of them, no matter how fabulous, will 'lose'. So I'm alright with it. Damn, I don't even know why I'm writing this anymore :)

- thelazydreamer

Day 1 of Challenge: Introduction to my challenge and 5 facts/anecdotes of my life

WOOO I'M DOING A CHALLENGE INSTEAD OF DOING WORK! I'M SO HAPPY!

Alright. So here goes.

Hello. My name is Zarin. This is my challenge. Seriously, could I get any lamer?
I'm Zarin and I'm doing this challenge because I have nothing better to do and other people are doing it and it looks cool and fun! I hope I get something out of this at the end, although I don't know what that could possibly be =='

5 facts:

1. I dream a lot - as in literally dream, in my sleep. They're always really, really crazy and often include people that I don't even talk to. One time, this guy I never talk to was defending me against one of my good friends. And my dreams are so realistic too!

2. I am Bengali! And a proud one at that. I haven't been back to my home country in years and years, but still, I love it! And if you ever call me Indian I will hit you. It's not that I don't like Indians but I hate that people don't recognise Bangladesh as a country. You will not believe how many people I've met that didn't even know it existed.

3. I am a writer. Uh, an aspiring author. Whatever you wanna call me, I write stories. I never used to write short stories but now I find myself getting random ideas out of nowhere that make me want to write. I almost finished a full-length novel but got angry at how crappy it was so I gave up on it. But I've learnt a lot from my mistakes and now I am writing a novel that is much better than anything I've written before. Yes, it may seem like I have no life, but give me a piece of paper and a pen and I shall be content :)

4. I love music. It's been one of those everlasting dreams of mine to make my name in music, be that playing an instrument, singing or doing both. I've always wanted to be in a band too. Two things stop me from making my music dreams come true though - 1) my parents, who are very academic minded, and 2) my absolutely horrendous stage fright. I am now teaching myself guitar, can sort of play keyboard and I also sing.

5. I miss Brisbane and all the people that I've left behind. I'm actually surprised - there were heaps of people that I despised but now I actually miss them too. I miss my best friends, who I hope are still my best friends, though we do not get to talk very much. I lived there for so long that if you just dropped me in the middle of a random suburb, I'd probably be able to make my way home. Eventually.

Wow, I actually wrote heaps! Well, I'm off now. Ciao!

Thank you, internet.

The internet, in my opinion, is such a great thing. Yes, the movies and the music and the games are great, but I'm talking about the massive creative outlet that it provides. If I'm correct, Justin Bieber became famous because of YouTube, right? Not that I'm too keen on using Justin Bieber as an example, but he demonstrates exactly what I'm talking about. Because of YouTube, ORDINARY people can be discovered by not only millions of people around the world, but also by producers and music companies. If that isn't amazing, I don't know what is. There are heaps of singers and musicians on YouTube that have gotten deals because of the fact that they've posted covers on the site.
Then there's DeviantArt, where ordinary people are posting extraordinary graphics and photographs and art that they've created. The talent on that site is absolutely crazy. 
The main thing I'm thankful for is writing websites, like Inkpop and Wattpad. Because of Wattpad mainly, sooo many people have read my work, more people than I thought was possible. People from England, Greece, Norway, America, India, Canada, New Zealand... they've read and commented on my work, and I swear, everytime I read those comments I can't wipe the smile from my face. I'm 15, and people all over the world are reading my stories and poetry and novels. IT'S SO AWESOME!
Even this blog that I'm writing on right now! To you bloggers out there, who knows? Maybe you could land a job as a journalist or a reporter in a top newspaper/magazine because of this blog that you're writing at this very moment.
I hate to sound like an adult, but it is true - the internet is overflowing with countless opportunities. Be thankful! And if there ever was a time for you to pursue your dreams, it's now.

- thelazydreamer.