Thank God for my parents.

I really shouldn't be on Blogger right now, I should be studying for the topic test I have tomorrow. But I despise studying :( so I'ma post instead :)

Well, if you know me you know that I complain about my parents and little sister. A LOT. You would also know that my dad works interstate at the moment, and comes home twice a month. But I've had enough of this situation. I feel like the only reason my parents are here is me, and they're so depressed now, because of me. I really miss my dad too... I was so used to seeing him every day that I didn't realise how much I would actually miss him if he wasn't there. I think he feels a little weird too, kind of like a visitor, visiting his own home every couple of weeks. It's a hard life for my parents, and considering all the crap they've had to go through their entire life, I don't think it's very fair for them to live this way. I just hope that my dad can get a job here soon so that my family can be together.

My parents are migrants to Australia, and as cliche as it is, they moved here in order for me and my little sister to reap the benefits of a country that isn't poverty stricken, that isn't hectic and controlled by some crazy government. Because I'm here, I have opportunities that most of the girls in Bangladesh don't have. And although I am thankful to my parents, I don't think I ever really show them how truly grateful I am. To those of us whose families have migrated here, I think we all take our parents greatness for granted. Seriously, can you imagine where you would be right now if your parents had not moved here? You would be living a completely different life. And I for one, I am gratefuly that I am not living 'the other life'. 

So I still see my dad every two weeks or so, but I can't imagine what it would be like for a girl whose parents are divorced or maybe whos parents is dead. You know, you may not realise it but you act a certain way around your parents that you could never act in front of your friends or peers. When I think about it, it's crazy the things I do when I'm at home :P I go crazy, literally. I jump around, I dance, I sing, and I hate to say it but my parents are the ones who suffer through my awesome mood swings (note the sarcasm on the word awesome). So yeah, I can't imagine what it would be like to not have that pair of people who you can truly be YOURSELF in front of.

Anyway, I am in an extremly hyper/pensive mood and I just feel like ranting on about everything! I'm not quite sure if this post made sense, but to sum it up, THANK YOU MUM AND DAD. Now, those problems on my desk aren't going to solve themselves, so I better go finish my work. D: Ciao! ~ thelazydreamer.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T .. find out what it means to me!

*nervous laughter* aha... well, yes, Richie... I know I said I'd post today.. well, I said that yesterday. And the day before that. But hey, I'm posting now! And I figured now that someone other than me is reading this blog, I might as well put up less retarded posts.

So here goes.

*clears throat*

So in pyschology our first unit is personality. I'm really bad at remembering facts, so I'm not sure who came up with this theory but SOME GUY suggested that a person has three types of traits: cardinal traits, central traits and secondary traits. I'm not going to give you a psychology lesson or anything but basically, central traits are those that most people around you can see, such as moody, outgoing or bubbly. Secondary traits are kind of superficial and are very subject to change, such as your taste in music or favourite colour. Cardinal traits however, can only be found by digging deeper into one's personality, and often only the person themself can find their cardinal trait. Even then, it's difficult.

My central traits are kind of shy, reserved, not quite outgoing but not a social reject either (I hope!) and ambitious. My secondary traits - my favourite colour's PURPLE!, my favourite bands are Paramore, The Script and Muse, and I like to read. My cardinal trait?

I think my cardinal trait is to gain the respect of people who I respect, and not to lose that respect.

You know, now that I think about it I realise that everything I do is to hold the respect of people. Whether that be my parents or my friends, I'm always trying to be a person who other people can respect. Is that a good thing? Is it a bad thing? I think it is both good and bad. I mean, sure it's good that I'm trying to please people, but does that mean that I'm acting like somebody that I'm not?

I've been trying to please my parents all my life. I am held back from getting red streaks in my hair or being a bimbo firstly, because that's just not me, der, and secondly because I don't want them to look down on me. Just recently, my parents have been a major factor for quite a big decision that, well, they didn't even know about.

I've found this great group of friends of school that I think everyone wants to find, but a lot of people often don't. The greatest thing about these friends is that I respect them, more than anything. I have had friends before without respecting them, and I think those friendships are the ones that don't quite make it through to the end. But the people I have met over the past six months (I'm not saying my Brisbane friend's aren't respectable) are truly amazing. They are each quirky in their own way and jeez louise, EVERY ONE OF THEM IS SO FREAKING SMART IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY.

Anyway. As I was saying. One of my greatest fears is doing something that these great friends of mine will hear about and go, "Oh my gosh, what kind of a person would do that?" I don't ever want my parents to look at me and wonder how they have raised a daughter like that. I'm not a goody two shoes, but I am extremely self conscious and a lot of the time, do things for the sake of others. A lot of the time, I find myself adapting my personality somehow for people to... not like me, but to see me as their equal, or even look up to me. Is this good? I don't know.

So yeah, my cardinal trait: GAINING AND KEEPING THE RESPECT OF OTHERS.

What's yours? What's your driving force behind every action?

Z.