I feel I must speak about religion.

Religion, for some reason, has been on people's minds recently. I don't know when it started, but I guess it had something to do with Durga's post about it. And even though my post will not be half as interesting as Sanjay's Hinduism-Mario theory, here's what I think/believe.

I am a Muslim, and have been one for all my life. Now that I think about it, I can't really say that anybody's really shoved religion down my throat. Yes, my parents have obviously encouraged me to live a Muslim life, but they've never really forced me to do something I don't want to. Although I do not wear a scarf, I do  pretty much everything else that a Muslim's meant to do - I pray, I fast, don't show my legs, read the Quran, bla bla bla.

Oh, and on the topic of headscarves - a lot of people ask me why I don't wear a scarf. I may consider it in the future, but right now I'm trying to find my way in the world. I'm pretty insecure about who I am and who I'm meant to be, so as invalid an excuse as it is, I don't think I could handle the questions and the looks that may and will come my way if I suddenly start wearing a scarf. Although no one in my direct family wears a scarf, a few my aunts do. My parents have never, not once, told me that I had to wear a scarf, so I will make that decision in my own time.

Anyway, it's strange that talk of religion being nonsense should come around during Ramadan, which, I'm sure you know, is one of the most important months in the Islamic calendar. It's when most Muslims become more religious.

Don't get me wrong, I respect people who are atheist just as much as someone who believes in God, but what I don't respect is when someone dismisses religion as nonsense and worthless. Obviously it does have worth to some people and saying that it's just BS will not gain you any friends. I personally have respect for pretty much every religion out there (except for a shifty few). Although I don't know much about it, Hinduism seems really interesting to me - like Durga said, all the legends and stories are pretty magical. I've also come to understand Hindu culture a bit more recently since the majority of my friend circle are Hindu.

Ah gosh, I think what I'm saying gets more pointless with every post. Don't mind me :P I'm too tired to continue. Goodnight and goodbye.

- thelazydreamer

Time is cruel.

It' 10:43 pm and sadly, most of my studious friends are now asleep. Many of them will rise early in the morning to study, study, study. I will wake up in the middle of the night to eat before fasting and pray and then, yup, you guessed it, go right back to sleep.
I won't kid myself - I'm having time problems. Maybe it's because I'm fasting and I feel tired most of the time. But I come home from school, kill time until I break my fast and then watch television for another hour. Then I sit down to do work, but my gosh, getting myself to do work is a feat in itself. A lot of people think that I'm very smart, that I study a lot, but that's really not true. I'm not smart and when I do study, it's just a huge mess of nothingness that I forget the next morning. So... yeah, it doesn't help at all.

I hate time constraints. I hate deadlines hanging over my neck like a guillotine or something. I hate knowing that in a few weeks from now, I will be sitting my trials and YES I KNOW THEY DO NOT COUNT FOR ANYTHING, but that doesn't stop me from wanting to do well. But the problem is that I cannot manage my time properly, and I have so many topics to cover before than that just the thought of it makes me want to go hide under my bed. I have not had time to do anything I love - I have not touched my guitar or keyboard in weeks, I have not had the time to reply to my friends' letters, I have not had the time to sit down and write to my heart's content. All because of my stupid time management problems. Like I said to my friend today, my life revolves around eating, sleeping and doing work (when I manage to actually do it) but I want it to be so much more.

Please, tell me that someone out there feels the way I do. And please, someone tell me how to manage my time better :(

- thelazydreamer.

My dear friends :)

 My friends have so much confidence in me. Even when I am at my lowest and am doubting myself , they're always trying to cheer me up. They have this lovely mind set that I am very smart and will be able to fulfill whatever dreams I have. An example of this is writing. Most people I know are now aware that my greatest dream is to become a published author. Even though the chances of my becoming an author are extremely tiny, they believe that one day I'll be a hugely famous writer. They are already arguing about who gets the dedication of my first book. Today Rekha said, "You can become an author and then go on Sunrise." I found that pretty random, but still, it shows that she believes that one day I'll make it.

They are always telling me that I am a very good writer, even when I don't believe it myself. They're the kind of friends I need around me right now :)
Well, a very mushy sort of post, but it has a lot of truth in it.

I shall leave you with a random picture...

- thelazydreamer.

Dinner date?

I woke up this morning with the intention of catching up with all my maths work. Clearly, I am not catching up with all my maths work and will do just as bad in the common test as I always do :) Oh wells.
So, instead of sitting at my desk like a good girl, I sat on the couch and began flicking through mindless show after mindless show, and came across one that I found particularly idiotic. I think it was called Dinner Date Australia or something? Basically it's about people who go on blind dates. And today's episode, from what I saw, was about a girl called Whatsherface who wanted to meet a tall, hot guy. Funnily enough, her blind date was a tall, mildly attractive Italian guy named Whatshisface. And she's like "Oh my gosh, he's exactly my type." Well, ladies and gents, we never saw that one coming, did we? Then the guy goes on to hold her hand and she's like, "woah, slow down man," and he's all, "maybe she's reading my signals wrong" and that's when I stopped watching because I decided that perhaps maths would be better. Gawsh, television shows these days. They're the funniest.

- thelazydreamer

Oh my goodness.

I don't think anybody in the world understands how ecstatic I feel right now. Because right now I am blogging from my MACBOOK. GAH I'm so happy. My parents bought it for me for my birthday. Dear mother and father, if I never loved you before, I do now. Haha just kidding. Must go run around the house with joy now. Goodbye!

- thelazydreamer

Hospitals are scary places...

This week I've been doing work experience at a hospital. I planned to blog every day during these four days of work experience but I can barely keep my eyes open when I get home. But today I just want to write something small. For confidentiality issues, I can't give details or names.
Throughout these few days, I've realised that nurses are probably some of the most caring, dedicated people in the world. Their efforts aren't always realised and they're often taken for granted. But from what I've seen, they're amazing - they look after each and every patient as if those patients are their own family. They speak about and witness things that others would cringe at and turn away from.
I've seen elderly people who are helpless and bedridden and must have everything done for them. I've seen elderly ladies who would probably have been extremely beautiful as young adults, but now must be lifted out of bed and cared for like a child. As one woman said - "back to babyhood".
I've seen young people not much older than me with horrible injuries that will probably have a permanent effect on their lives. In a sense, these injuries are the most heartbreaking - knowing that they may not ever lead the life that they had hoped for. We don't always pay much attention to the tragic stories of teenagers in accidents on the news, but seeing these teenagers in real life is something completely different.
Hospitals are scary places, and though I don't think I could ever be a nurse, I'd like to maybe do something in the health profession one day. I've come to realise that lives are very much like glass showpieces - beautiful, yet they can break into a million pieces so terribly easily.
- thelazydreamer

The Ghost's Child

Today was a lovely day for sitting in the sun and reading. I finished a short but intriguing story called the Ghost's Child, by Sonya Hartnett. I have to say, I have read few books that were amazing as this one.

'The sky was pitch, and gashed by lightning; loutish waves rose and slumped heavily as mudslides.  At a moment when she was filled with desperation, Maddy opened her mouth and yelled for Feather.  And half-expected him to appear, because she wanted him to so much.'

Maddy yearns for her life to be mystifying, to be as magical as a fairy story.  And then one day, on the beach she meets the strangest young man she has ever seen.

The Ghost's Child is an enchanting fable about the worth of life, and the power of love.

Firstly, a couple of warnings. Don't assume that this is a love story, and don't judge this book by it's title. I came across it completely by chance, and now that I've read it... I think epiphany is the word?

The story starts off with a strange boy suddenly appearing at old lady's home. The old lady, Matilda, starts to tell him about her life. And that's where the story begins. She tells of how she travelled with her father around the world, looking for the answer to the question: "what is the world's most beautiful thing?" She tells of how she found love, and lost love, and how she learnt to live without regrets. The most important lesson of all is that there is no point in yearning for the things that you can't have.

I had never heard about this book and wasn't very impressed by the cover either. But it really is a beautiful story. You won't regret reading it.

Sonya Hartnett writes so amazing - every sentence can be seen as a profound quote, every picture she creates is magnificent. If you're smart enough, you'll understand how the title works, and what each scene really means.