Life.

I love the music in this video. I promise this is less weirder than the alien video.

-thelazydreamer

WTF? Aliens?

I was NOT searching through YouTube for this or anything =.= but yeah it showed up on my NewsFeed on Facebook and I foudn it really weird. So, thoughts?
- thelazydreamer

Stupid Stage Fright.

Today has been an excellent day... for picking out my many flaws. I am really, really not confident, as I am coming to realise more and more each day. Everytime I think that maybe I've conquered this problem of mine, I just fall again. I am so jealous of people who can just laugh and dance and sing and make fools of themselves without thinking twice. I envy you people so, so much.
So today was auditions for Variety Night, and I massacred the song. I actually think I was doing okay when it was just me singing in front of Yvonne or my mum o.O. And then, when I sung it at the actualy audition, I absolutely blew up - and that's not a good thing, by the way. I could hear myself missing all the notes and I was just thinking, why the hell is this happening to me now?
I can't remember the last time I gave a good performance. My stage fright is so horrible that sometimes it makes me want to cry. People tell me to just SING and BE CONFIDENT but for some reason, that's almost impossible for me. Oh trust me, I wish I could just SING and BE CONFIDENT but I JUST CANNOT! SOMEBODY PLEASE, PLEASE HELP ME!
- thelazydreamer

Still a Stranger?

I posted this on my Tumblr as well.


“With every sun that sets I am feeling more like a stranger on a foreign shore.”

This lyric from Death Cab for Cutie got me thinking and, uh, a little emotional.

I recently moved cities from where I lived for 7 years of my life. And now that I’m here, there’s plenty of things that I’m happy about and grateful for. But everytime I think about all the people I’ve left behind and all the memories that are slowly but surely fading away, I get this hollow feeling inside of me.

I remember my last day of school at YSHS. I was made to feel pretty special :) I took a billion and one stupid photos with my friends and that final hour of school was like an impending doom or something. I remember trying not to break into tears as all my friends started crying around me.

Obviously, I gave in to those tears in the end.

It makes me sad that I don’t see my friends everyday and I don’t hear their voices everyday either. In this age where loooong phone calls have been replaced by meaningless emoticons and abbreviations like ‘ILY’, it’s not possible to talk to my friends everyday. I don’t go on MSN very often because of my busy lifestyle. Sometimes I wish I was a teenager 10 years ago or something. It seems like life would’ve been more… real.

So sometimes when I’m sitting at school, I get this feeling of being a ‘stranger’. Those moments come so randomly and are triggered by the smallest of things, but when they do happen I feel sort of horrible. I miss my home city more than ever in those moments. I guess every new person gets these feelings, this nostalgia and homesickness, but it’s really painful sometimes.

But I am happy to have met these awesome people here and there are definitely things here that I didn’t have in the past. I just hope this homesickness passes soon.

- thelazydreamer.

SO disappointed.

Hey guys :) I'm starting to realise that Blogger can get sort of addictive...
anyway. My favourite band was Paramore... what can I say, their music just gets to me. And Hayley Williams, the lead singer of Paramore, used to be a massive inspiration to me. Her voice is so powerful and meaningful... I've always wanted to be able to sing like that. But I was talking to Charis today about music, and she told me about a Twitter scandal involving Hayley. Apparently, she 'accidentally' posted a topless photo of herself onto her site. I have no idea how that works, but ok. And then BAM, all my respect in her was gone. I used to think she was an amazing person, but the fact that she can get to this point irritates me to no end. Is all the attention she's getting finally getting to her? Oh please, please don't end up like Britney Spears.
And although it's been in the works for a while, Josh and Zac Farror (guitarists) are leaving the band. MY FAVOURITE BAND IS SPLITTING UP GUYS! Let's have a minute to mourn what used to be an incredible band. It just goes to show, maybe fame does things to you. Bad things.
Z.

This one's for you, burger.

After what seemed like a disappointingly loooong time, my friend Durga and I finally sat down to have a good conversation. It's funny really, we do Zumba together on Wednesday afternoons and we always manage to have this massive D&M session during those afternoons, kind of like in those chick flicks. Of course, I am the wise one and she is the one in desperate need of my wisdom, isn't that right Durga!?

So things have been going on in her life lately, as they do in all our lives, that have been making her question her worth as a person, as a dancer, and I was raging at her today because she doesn't realise just how amazing she is. If any one of you guys have seen her dance, you know what I am talking about: that girl has AMAZING skills (yes, I know, I've used that word many times already). And she is also a lovely person - she was the first person I met when I came to MFHS, she was my tour guide and to this day we are best friends :) So I just want to let you know Durga, please don't let the small things make you doubt yourself. Each and every person has their own special skill, and I KNOW that yours is dancing.

I guess things happen in life that you think will go a certain way - you have it all planned out perfectly, but when it all comes crashing down on you it's kind of hard to bear. And I guess you find yourself thinking, "Oh damn, oh no, why does this always happen to me?" Well, people, this is life. Life has its ups and downs, as I'm sure you all know. You have to learn to adapt to the world around you and just DEAL with the crazy crap that happens in life. Because this crazy stuff will never stop happening, unless you want to go be some hermit. I think this craziness is what makes life that much more amazing, and in the end, this craziness that makes you laugh and makes you cry at the same time will somehow lead you to something magical. Just seize the moments you are given in life, take that energy you have and give your all to create something out of this world awesome.

I don't know where I found this quote, but here it is : "Everything will be okay in the end, and if it's not okay, well then it's not the end."

Z.

Thank God for my parents.

I really shouldn't be on Blogger right now, I should be studying for the topic test I have tomorrow. But I despise studying :( so I'ma post instead :)

Well, if you know me you know that I complain about my parents and little sister. A LOT. You would also know that my dad works interstate at the moment, and comes home twice a month. But I've had enough of this situation. I feel like the only reason my parents are here is me, and they're so depressed now, because of me. I really miss my dad too... I was so used to seeing him every day that I didn't realise how much I would actually miss him if he wasn't there. I think he feels a little weird too, kind of like a visitor, visiting his own home every couple of weeks. It's a hard life for my parents, and considering all the crap they've had to go through their entire life, I don't think it's very fair for them to live this way. I just hope that my dad can get a job here soon so that my family can be together.

My parents are migrants to Australia, and as cliche as it is, they moved here in order for me and my little sister to reap the benefits of a country that isn't poverty stricken, that isn't hectic and controlled by some crazy government. Because I'm here, I have opportunities that most of the girls in Bangladesh don't have. And although I am thankful to my parents, I don't think I ever really show them how truly grateful I am. To those of us whose families have migrated here, I think we all take our parents greatness for granted. Seriously, can you imagine where you would be right now if your parents had not moved here? You would be living a completely different life. And I for one, I am gratefuly that I am not living 'the other life'. 

So I still see my dad every two weeks or so, but I can't imagine what it would be like for a girl whose parents are divorced or maybe whos parents is dead. You know, you may not realise it but you act a certain way around your parents that you could never act in front of your friends or peers. When I think about it, it's crazy the things I do when I'm at home :P I go crazy, literally. I jump around, I dance, I sing, and I hate to say it but my parents are the ones who suffer through my awesome mood swings (note the sarcasm on the word awesome). So yeah, I can't imagine what it would be like to not have that pair of people who you can truly be YOURSELF in front of.

Anyway, I am in an extremly hyper/pensive mood and I just feel like ranting on about everything! I'm not quite sure if this post made sense, but to sum it up, THANK YOU MUM AND DAD. Now, those problems on my desk aren't going to solve themselves, so I better go finish my work. D: Ciao! ~ thelazydreamer.