Today has been an excellent day... for picking out my many flaws. I am really, really not confident, as I am coming to realise more and more each day. Everytime I think that maybe I've conquered this problem of mine, I just fall again. I am so jealous of people who can just laugh and dance and sing and make fools of themselves without thinking twice. I envy you people so, so much.
So today was auditions for Variety Night, and I massacred the song. I actually think I was doing okay when it was just me singing in front of Yvonne or my mum o.O. And then, when I sung it at the actualy audition, I absolutely blew up - and that's not a good thing, by the way. I could hear myself missing all the notes and I was just thinking, why the hell is this happening to me now?
I can't remember the last time I gave a good performance. My stage fright is so horrible that sometimes it makes me want to cry. People tell me to just SING and BE CONFIDENT but for some reason, that's almost impossible for me. Oh trust me, I wish I could just SING and BE CONFIDENT but I JUST CANNOT! SOMEBODY PLEASE, PLEASE HELP ME!
- thelazydreamer
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